It's Going to Be a Sad Week...

On Saturday, we were so busy cleaning, that I didn't even take time out to go get the mail. This is pretty unusual for me because getting the mail is sometimes the highlight of my day! :) I am an information hound and it seems as though the things that come in the mail let me know some of what's going on in the world around us...like right now, we haven't started heavy-duty politic-ing...but it will be coming. And everyone and their dog wants you to have a credit card from their company. And how the mail order catalogs never seem to stop coming...

Anywho, Jim brought it in with him and I just happened to be having a conversation with him before we went upstairs to bed and was opening the day's mail at the same time. In there, was a letter to me telling me that my long-time therapist had unexpectedly died last Wednesday. OMG - what a blow. Jim T. was one of the best therapists I've had over the years...starting way back in high school following my date rape episode in 1986. I started seeing Jim back in 2002 when my J and I started having MAJOR marriage problems. And I do mean MAJOR including leaving with the kids for a week to try and get some things straightened out. Looking back, I realize that alot of it at the time was self-inflicted...I was going through my crisis of not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, but at the time thinking that what I was doing was NOT it. My J played a huge role in it, too ~ which he admitted after being in counseling for a year...we just weren't what we'd dreamed we'd be in high school but hadn't yet matured enough yet at the time to let go of those dreams and reaalize that we had grown to become different people.

Anyway, our marriage seemed to get back on track after about a year and a half of joint counseling and then I continued to see Jim on my own until last year in order to get help sorting out the feelings I had concerning the loss of my mom in 2000 and the subsequent loss of my family in 2003. There were a lot of negative things I focused on at the time, and Jim was one of the biggest proponents of making me turn that around and realize that I AM OKAY and it is my family's loss to decide to no longer have contact with us. Life got really busy last spring with the illness and impending death of my birthmother and Jim and I had just not had the chance to get back together. The last communication I had with him was a phone call he made to me after she died telling me how sorry he was and I was always welcome to come see him anytime. I guess ~ in reality ~ the fact that I didn't "need" him anymore should come as a blessing...not that I don't have periods of depression anymore, but he really gave me some introspect on how to deal with it. And for that, I am very, very thankful.

And now ~ the communities that knew him well ~ will have to endure the loss of a person who touched so many lives in such a short period of time on earth. It really was true that he was definitely meant for his profession. I pray for peace for his family...his wife, young son and daughter (Julia ~ who was adopted from a Russion orphanage and is just the neatest story) and his older daughter and grandkids. They will be who miss him most.

I am planning on attending the memorial service this Saturday and another on Sunday in Ames...to give tribute to a man who has changed my life for the better and allowed me to look forward to the future with grace and hope...Rest well, my dear friend...and may the Heavens be that much better with you there.